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Herblore
Herblore is Jagex's attempt to appease the junkies who play Runescape. Basically, they're getting their players to make "potions" so that they can fantasise that they're a drug dealer on GTA IV (because I wananananana-marrijjina.) However, Herblore is the opposite of drug dealing as drug dealing usually makes you money. (unless you get mugged at Clubland) The Skill was invented by 70 year-old stoners who wanted to play in the strawberry fields, but got banned from the Railway station for trying to have intercourse with a fire extinguisher. The second druid was found in a basement somewhere in manchester, wearing only a Gas Mask and a toga, apparently, he thought he was in The Shining. The potions There are lots of lovely potions you can make with Herblore. Most of them have effects that are similar to drugs in real life. *'Attack Potion' (Level 3)- Blue WKD, causes you to attack people more, or the mind of a chav "Oi clod, I got a glass bottle with your name on it son!" *'Anti-Poison' (Level 5)- Tesco Value style cure for poison. It actualy works!! (for about 4 seconds) There is also SUPER anti-poison at Level 48, the SUPER DUPER MEGA'' 'anti-poison at level 68, then '''SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA TURBO UBER F***ING EXTREME MEGA anti-poison at Level 79. The irony is, the overdose is more likely to kill you than the poison. Trust me, you would have to be seriously in deep shit before you even considered taking this stuff. *'Relicym's Blam' (Level 8)- "Dis pot does heal dey sickies from dey jigjig sickies." It's also practically useless. Not as useless as the herbs used in this quest though. *'Strength Potion' (Level 10)- Basicly a pint of Stella without the double-vision and talking shoes. *'Stat Restore Potion' (Level 22)- Oh shi...my cooking level dropped by 1 *drinks potion* ahh thats better. *'Energy Potion' (Level 26)- Red Bull made from chocolate, doesn't get anymore awesome that that. *'Defence potion' (Level 30)- Best thing to train herblore with, a useless potion that requires 13,000gp to make for 45 exp each. *'Super Fishing Explosive' (Level 31)- Only for Rednecks *'Agility Potion' (Level 34)- Liquid jumping beans that will make your eyeballs spin into your brain. *'Combat Potion' (Level 36)- Apparenly ripping a horn clean off a goats head and mixing it with marrijana will make you stronger. (or cause you to jump off a cliff screaming I CAN FLY!!!) *'Prayer Potion' (Level 38)- Despite the ingredient names, Professor Snape did NOT invent this potion. It's actualy just a scam invented by the Runescape Gods to get rich while they give you random stat boosts and protection (20 seconds after you click the prayer) *'Summoning Potion' (Level 40)- Restores just 20 points to a Pokemon....i mean...20 points to your Summoning level. *'Crafting Potion' (Level 42)- About as useful as a Glow-In-The-Dark sundial *'NOT-so-super Potions' (Level 45-66)- These potions apparently increase your stats to "near superhuman levels" (according to the label) it doesn't even matter because EVERYONE IN PVP will use these. Also a "super set" will cost more than all the food you will use getting 99 in each stat put together. *'Fishing Potion' (Level 50)- Great for trying to sneak into the fishing guild...until you lag out and get booted. *'Hunter Potion' (Level 53)- ''-Due to several complaints from PETA, Greenpeace and the RSCPA, this item will be removed from the list-'' (Psst....go here for something '''much' better'') *'Fletching Potion' (Level 58)- wait...wat? This was Mod Fetzki's idea wasn't it? *'Weapon Poison' (Level 60-73-82)- The first 2 types are useless, the Weapon Poison++ requires you to "put the lime in the coconut and NOT drink it all up" otherwise you will die (or in extreme cases, actualy think Jagex made a good update) *'Anti-Fire potion' (Level 69)- You have two choices, Either drink this vile purple stuff, or end up getting fried by a toaster with legs. *'Ranging Potion' (Level 72)- Watch as some pure completely pisses himself over hitting 5 damage higher *'Magic Potion '(Level 76)- Its anything but magical, you're better off wrapping a bedsheet around your head and pretending to be Harry Potter. *'Zamorak Brew '(Level 79)- The rule of thumb is; 1 is ok, 2 is tops, 3 is under the table, and 4 is under the hearse. *'Saradomin Brew' (Level 82)- This Potion gives new meaning to the term "liquid breakfast". Also it costs about 10 times more for the ingredients than the actual potion....yet rs druggies insist on making these. Other useless crap from Herblore *Barbarian Potions - Slice the guts out of a fish, squash the eggs into a already repulsive vial of gunk, and watch how no one will ever buy it on the grand exchange. Apparently its suppost to heal you....I just can't figure out how. *Herb Tar - Kidnap a wingless dragon, shove mustard gas down its throat and choke it until it projectile vomits toxic waste into peoples faces. (alternativly, instead of choking the salamander, you could tie it up, and force it to watch a video of Mark Gerhad doing the Caramelldansen, Clockwork Orange Style) *Sacred Clay - Made from 90% HAX, and 10% Anti-Matter *Fist of Guthix Gloves - Which would you rather have, +12 attack bonus and getting ranarr weed galore, or wearing stupid gloves and getting ERITS and KUWAMMMMMMMS? 'EXTREME POTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Approx. 54% louder than a Billy Mays commerial, Popping one of these MoFo's into your digestive system will turn you into TzTok-Jad on steriods. It makes taking Crystal Meth look like a poetry class. You will be seeing pink elephants for weeks. EXTREME ATTACK - **** YEAH!!!!!! EXTREME STRENGTH - **** YEAH!!!!!! EXTREME DEFENCE - **** YEAH!!!!!! EXTREME RANGING - **** YEAH!!!!!! EXTREME MAGIC - **** YEAH!!!!!! AND IF THATS NOT ENOUGH, BEHOLD....THE OVERLOAD POTION!!1!11!!!!!!!! "whoa, I think it's eating though the vial" GO AHEAD, TRY IT IF YOU DARE!!! "ok but I don't see wh.....'ZOMFG MY INSIDES ARE MELTING AGHHHHHHHH!1111111111'" *death* (Bloody hell, I want some. ~Agent Fisher) Trivia *Herblore is a particularly useful skill, as you gain higher levels you are able to use more expensive ingredients; which when made into potions cost you even more money. This allows the player to waste more money per hour played. Category:Skills